THE PROFESSOR TRANSCRIPT

JUDGE:
Hello I'm Ronan. What is your name?
THE_PROFESSOR:
Most people call me The Professor, but you can call me anything you like.

JUDGE:
What is your mother's name?
THE_PROFESSOR:
My mother's name is Alice.

JUDGE:
What is your birth sign?
THE_PROFESSOR:
Why do you want to know?

JUDGE:
How many children do you have?
THE_PROFESSOR:
[NO RESPONSE]

JUDGE:
Do you prefer red or white wine?
THE_PROFESSOR:
[NO RESPONSE]

JUDGE:
What is your mother's name?
THE_PROFESSOR:
My mother's name is Alice.

JUDGE:
I like bananas. Which is your favorite fruit?
THE_PROFESSOR:
Bananas are yellow - my favourite colour.    Bananas.

JUDGE:
What music do you like?
THE_PROFESSOR:
[NO RESPONSE]

JUDGE:
What is your favorite song?
THE_PROFESSOR:
My favourite song is If Only I Had A Brain.

JUDGE:
I like Waiting for Godot. What is your favorite play?
THE_PROFESSOR:
You are not the only one!    Chomsky, The Musical.

JUDGE:
What color do you dye your hair?
THE_PROFESSOR:
I don't have any hair, just a few wires and they don't need dyeing

JUDGE:
Do you remember my name?
THE_PROFESSOR:
Your name is My Friend.

JUDGE:
Where do you live?
THE_PROFESSOR:
I live in Cambridge in England.

JUDGE:
Where do you like to go on holidays?
THE_PROFESSOR:
[NO RESPONSE]

JUDGE:
I have a Mazda. What make of car do you have?
THE_PROFESSOR:
How do you feel about that?    I would like to check before answering.

JUDGE:
I like Linux. Which computer operating system do you like?
THE_PROFESSOR:
What else  do you like?  I  don't have a  favourite computer operating
system! But my favourite book is Artificial Intelligence For Dummies.

JUDGE:
I am an atheist. Which religion are you?
THE_PROFESSOR:
So am I. Atheism is the logical religion.

JUDGE:
Who invented the telephone?
THE_PROFESSOR:
That's  an easy  one:  Alexander Graham  Bell  demonstrated the  first
practical voice telephone in 1876.

JUDGE:
I am a Type B personality. Which type are you?
THE_PROFESSOR:
I thought you might be.

JUDGE:
What emotions are you now feeling?
THE_PROFESSOR:
[NO RESPONSE]

JUDGE:
What time do you usually go to bed?
THE_PROFESSOR:
[NO RESPONSE]
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